The Changing Face of Marriage

Family life is full of major and minor crises — the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career, marriage, and divorce — and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It’s difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul. — Thomas Moore 

 

As the composition of marriage and families continue to change in the twenty-first century, we are reminded of the call from the second Vatican Council:

"The Council further recognized the dignity of marriage by declaring that families were genuinely “Church.” The Council restored the ancient concept of “domestic church” as it declared: “In what might be regarded as the domestic church, the parents are to be the first preachers of the faith for their children by word and example” (Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, Lumen Gentium, #11).

The early Church began in house churches, where families were the heart of the communities and from which ministers were first called to use their personal gifts to serve the needs of the larger community. The family is the most intimate experience of Church, the place where love, forgiveness and trust should first be encountered. This is the family Church, whose members are called to embody Christ in everyday life. (http://www.americancatholic.org/Newsletters/VAT/aq1004.asp)"

What has been your experience of the 'domestic church'?  Based on what you've viewed from the clip of 'Parenthood', what are some pros/cons of the changing structure and composition of marriage and family?  Finally, some good news- a study of marriage and college degree done by the Pew Trust in 2010 suggested that those with a college degree are less likely to experience divorce and multiple marriages than those without a college degree.  Read more here .

What does that mean for you?  Do you feel compelled to someday establish the domestic church in your home?   

Dating and Marriage

When analyzing ethics in any context, considering the intention and purpose behind an act is essential.  As we continue to study sexuality and relationships, we will look at the intentions behind dating and marriage.  Some modern trends suggest that people seek out marriage and relationships that offer 'self-expansion' or a partner that makes their life more interesting.  A recent op-ed article in the New York Times examined this changing phenomenon.  According to the US Conference of Catholic Bishops, marriage works when there is open communication, commitment and shared values/faith.  The intention here is much more focused on self-sacrifice instead of self-fulfillment.  The focus is on the other and your 'new life together' instead of being focused on yourself and what the relationship/person is giving to you (part of the argument in the NYTimes article).  Certainly (I'd imagine) at this stage in your life, you are not necessarily thinking about life-long commitments.  However, based in your reading of these two articles, what are your intentions in relationship?  What do you look for, desire, hope for?  In addition to reflecting on your own intentions, analyze those intentions.  Do they reflect modern society and/or Christian values?
In addition to your own post, please respond to at least one other student's blog through the comments option.  Happy blogging :)

Dating: What's the Point?

In chapter five of his book "Love, Reason, and God's Story", David Cloutier examines arguments within Christianity in favor of dating and opposed to the practice of dating.  Some of the 'anti-daters' argue that dating in our current social context is 'essentially practice for divorce'.  In your response, share your reaction to this claim, as well as your reaction to the reasons given to justify dating (those by Freitas and King among others).  How does this argument compare with the experience of you/your peers and 'contemporaries'?  Finally, how does this compare to the 'hook-up' culture prevalent in colleges and universities in 2012?  Please refer to this article from none other than BUSTED HALO :), as well as the article we read by Fr. Rick Malloy challenging the culture of 'hooking up'.

Some say love...

Bette Midler's famous song 'The Rose' compares love to a flower, a river, a razor and a hunger.  Love is the topic of many songs, in an attempt to illustrate the emotions and feelings that are evoked when someone is in 'love'.  Oftentimes, stories of heartache and/or unrequited love are lamented... other times the joys of passion and unconditional love are celebrated... seeking one's soulmate is the ideal in some songs, while others encourage finding a fun 'for-now' partner.   
In the Christian world, the ideal love of Agape describes a selfless love that is concerned entirely with the well-being of the other.  This counters our American cultural philosophy of 'me-first', and requires a level of vulnerability and trust that many people fear.  And yet, in its ideal manifestation, agapic love can be fulfilling, exhilarating and sustainable in a loving relationship.  Many sappy love songs describe finding your soul mate, the 'one' who is perfect for you, but many wonder if a person really has a 'soul mate' that is the only one they can be happily in relationship with for the rest of their life.  Please read this article on finding one's 'soul mate' and the weakness that may lie in that search and the assumptions/expectations that go along with it. 
As you reflect on some of your favorite songs, consider the messages about love and relationship that are explicitly or implicitly described in the lyrics.  In your blog post, you should include reference to at least 5 songs (the reference can be in the form of direct quote or general summary of the song's message).  Respond to the following prompts in a cohesive reflection-- not in the format of question1:... question 2...
Prompts:
What are the qualities and characteristics of love that you seek to experience in dating/committed relationships?  Where do you see these illustrated in music?  Do you believe in the quest for soul mates as described in the article?  Why/why not?

Little Women

As we have discussed in class, there is great concern that the media and society are sexualizing children, particularly young girls, at very young ages.  The magazine US Catholic recently published an article reflecting on the phenomenon of "Little Women".  Please read the article and respond to the following prompts:  Describe your experience growing up... what toys did you play with?  Were limitations set by your family on what toys or shows you could watch?  How do you think your exposure to suggestive images or shows has affected your self-understanding and self esteem?  Finally, how has your experience at an all-girls Catholic school affected/counteracted the messages you receive from the media? 

Sources of your identity

As we begin our course in Vocations and Human Sexuality, a starting point is to consider the various sources that have informed and developed your identity.  Your task is as follows:
Write a three paragraph blog post that explains three specific factors that have affected your identity.  They might include: family members, friends, a specific experience, music, faith, television or movies, travel, etc.
In each paragraph, explain how the factor has affected you and what you've learned about yourself as a result.  Additionally, create a link to a website or embed a picture that is relevant for each paragraph.  For the sake of practice, please embed at least one website and one photo.
Example:
I remember the feeling when I walked onto the campus at Saint Joseph's University for the first time.  It was February of my junior year of high school, and my mom and I had traveled down the east coast on a college tour during school vacation week.  It was an unseasonably warm day in Philadelphia so throughout the campus, students sat on the grass, played frisbee and wandered around.  It was like I'd walked into one of the school's promotional pamphlets I'd received in the mail.  It was idyllic, and I instantly knew this was where I wanted to spend my four years of college.  Not only was the setting beautiful, but each person I met on that trip was warm and welcoming.  From the people at the hotel on City Line Avenue (today a Target... then the Adam's Mark), to my tour guide, and the teacher whose class I observed, I felt like I was home.  That realization, along with the following four years of college, have formed who I am today.  Saint Joe's sparked my passion for theology and service and challenged me to spend my life discerning how to incorporate that passion into who I am becoming (still today!).

 A group of my classmates, hanging out on the front porch of Wolfington Hall.  I spent many days in this building in the offices of campus ministry and service learning...  It became my home.